Chapter
III: 1851 - Jeanie’s death
Adam’s diary
21st March. Jeanie gave birth to a daughter - rather prematurely
which caused us to fear for its welfare. She was lively however
and bade fair to live with us. Her birth was the cause of much
joy to both of us, more especially as both seemed to do well.
30th Alas how transient are the joys of time. Our little Mary
has already gone the way of all the earth. For a time it caused
much grief to Jeanie and myself but we sorrowed not as those
who have no hope for we felt assured that Jesus the Kind Shepherd
had taken the little lamb to himself.
[On a separate piece of paper] 1st Sabbath in May Last time
Jeanie and I partook of the sacrament together. She was remarkably
well.
One day about 1 o’clock about 8 weeks before she died she had
a strange presentiment that that day would be her last and she
told me so and told me of a hidden treasure about (?) which
she had saved from her weekly allowance for household necessaries
for the purpose - when she had got a sufficient sum - of buying
me a dressing gown. She said “you will find it in a drawer in
the by kist.
Frequently had weak turns during which she could not speak.
26th May Jeanie and myself went to Richmond for the purpose
of spending a short time hoping that by God’s blessing that
might be the means of perfecting her strength as she had never
fully recovered her strength since her confinement. We remained
a week and felt considerably benefited by it. We would have
remained longer but the rooms we occupied having been pre-engaged
at the week’s end, we returned to London not being able to find
suitable accommodation elsewhere.
[On a separate piece of paper] 1st June. Sabbath Day. A remarkable
circumstance occurred. I went down on Saturday evening. On Sabbath
day we went out to Richmond Hill, sat down on one of the seats
and read a part of the “Royal Preacher”. In the part which I
read there is an extract from Tennyson’s farewell to the book
“Flow down cold rivulet to the sea”. I remarked that possibly
that might be said of one or both of us. “No more by thee my
steps shall be, for ever and for ever.” We at the time were
sitting on the banks of the Thames.
Don’t say Poor Jeanie, rather say rich Jeanie.
6th June Two days after our return to London Jeanie was seized
with a violent attack of diarrhoea which brought her into a
very weak state and from this weak state she never recovered.
Her lungs gave way and in about five weeks, consumption terminated
her existence here.
24th July For four weeks previous nothing else was expected.
For about that time the doctor informed us that she would not
recover. The first intimation of this sent a pang of sorrow
to my heart such as I never felt before. Immediately told Jeanie
of her state but she received the intelligence with very little
emotion. She expected it. She had for a few days before felt
convinced that this was her last illness and that very soon
she would leave this world.
All hope however was not banished from my mind. God had brought
her from very near the gate of death before and I thought he
would do so again. But those thoughts were soon distilled. The
rapidity with which her strength failed, and her emaciated countenance
and her hollow cough too plainly told us that consumption was
making quick work within and that death had marked her for his
victim.
Her mother came up about 3 weeks before her death and remained
with us. A few days before her death her father also came and
we three were present when her spirit fled.
During her illness my dear wife was happy. She feared not for
she knew and felt that Jesus had taken away its sting. She was
not able to speak much for the cough annoyed her frequently
when she made the attempt to speak. But she spoke enough to
let us know the state of her mind and to show us the peace and
the joy and the gladness that dwelt within.
When she did speak it was of her own worthlessness of Jesus
and his love and of the sure and certain hope she had that heaven
was her home. She, I might almost say, never doubted for her
peace was made with God before the time of trouble came. Her
faith in Jesus had all along been strong and she had given to
the Saviour her heart. She loved Jesus although she often mourned
over the littleness of that love but however little she anxiously
desired to love him more and Jesus accepted her. Jesus was her
shepherd and through life’s pilgrimage he watched over her with
a shepherd’s care. And when death drew near he still watched
over her and he watched her tenderly. He allowed not her body
to be racked with pain and nor the tempter to disturb her soul.
And as the time of her departure drew near her faith continued
as firm and her happiness and joy seemed to increase.
Till about four or five days previous to her death she was
not entirely confined to bed, but was assisted up about mid-day
into the adjoining room where she remained till night.
On one of these days her mother remarked that a greater number
of people than usual were passing to the Exhibition.1
Jeanie said “People are coming from all quarters of the world
to see the Exhibition but here am I lying here and though so
near, will never see it, but I am going to see a far grander
exhibition than that.”
20th July Her mother told her of the death of her dear friend
Jeanie Hunter. Shortly afterwards I saw a sweet smile on her
countenance and I asked her what she was thinking of. She said
she was thinking how happy it would be to meet so soon with
Jeanie Hunter, Jeanie Gibson and all her friends who had gone
to heaven before her.
24th June The cough troubled her a good deal and once I remarked
“My Dear, I doubt the cough is bothering you”. She answered
“Oh no my Dear Adam, the Lord is kind. He gives me few bothers.”
Another day seemingly anxious for my salvation she said “O
may we all meet at the right hand of God. Oh Adam press forward.
Press forward. More than I have done. Oh I feel how little I
have done for God’s glory.”
Another day I remarked it will be a happy meeting when we meet
above. “What a hearty welcome you will give me” “Oh want I,
my Dear Adam. And I will welcome your other wife too whoever
she may be. Oh I will be glad to see her. Tell her this and
tell her it was my dying wish that she would be kind to you.”
In answer to frequent questions “Are you still happy?” she
said “Oh yes, Adam, I am happy, happy. Jesus is my refuge.”
21st July On my leaving for the shop she looked steadfastly
at me. I thought she imagined it might be the last look. Then
she said sweetly smiling, sorrowful yet rejoicing. Frequently
spoke of God’s kindness to her in keeping her free from pain.
Sometimes the nerves seemed to trouble her. On one of these
occasions her mother remarked. “The nerves is troubling you,
Jeanie.” She said “What about that when the soul is well? It
does not matter how the body is.” Then spoke of the mercies
of God. Was always vexed about her unthankfulness and sorry,
because she could not fully realise the spirit of that Hymn
“When all thy mercies Oh my God” but now she was getting more
thankful every day, and now could say “transported with the
joy I’m lost in wonder, love and praise”.
23rd July All day my Dear Wife was in a very weak state, so
weak indeed about midday that I could not think of leaving her
and remained with her during the rest of the day.2
All night my dear wife continued very weak. I sat up with her
till about four o’clock and during the night, several times
I thought her spirit was about to depart. She continued in this
weak state until about half past 8. And there for a short time
she brightened up into a state of ecstasy during which God in
his mercy (as she said herself) “granted her double strength”
and permitted us to enjoy a sight the like of which we have
never seen and never can forget. All the while she looked so
happy her face seemed to be lightened up with a heavenly radiance
as if she had already got a glimpse of the glory that was about
to be revealed to her. She spoke to us cheeringly and consolingly
of her bright and happy prospects and of the certainty of her
soon being with Jesus. She regretted that hitherto she had been
unable to speak so little to us but we were not to look upon
this as if she had any doubt, she said, for her faith was along
firm.
Then for a moment a cloud passed over her mind. “I surely canna
be deceiving myself. Jesus will not deceive me.” It was only
for a moment however for she immediately exclaimed “Jesus is
mine and I am His”. I know he will receive me.
She remarked that I would be more exposed to the temptations
of the world and seemed for a little concerned on that account.
Her mother said God will watch over him. “Surely you can trust
him in God’s hands.” She answered “So he will. God is very kind.
He will give you grace sufficient for you. Then I will see wee
Mary. O how happy I am that we had wee Mary”. Then looking at
me, “you and me lived very lovingly together. We had our bickerings
I’ll no deny that.” Then addressing mother said “whenever Adam
said a word I flew up at him, I was very quick and, mother,
sometimes I had a wee bit bicker in(?) you but it was always
my fault.” Then she contrasted with that the entire happiness
of heaven when there was nothing but praise and joy and gladness.
Her father remarked he feared she was tiring herself out. She
said “Oh no.” It was her duty to make use of the present opportunity.
She was not to be prevented from speaking now because she might
be a corpse tomorrow. Seeing her father crying she said (she
noticed him first and said to us “father’s crying”). “Don’t
cry father. There is no use for mourning here.” Then looking
round to her mother and myself said “We are all rejoicing. This
is a house of gladness”. And so it was. We all felt that there
was more cause for gladness than for grief. We thought “If this
is dying ‘tis a pleasant thing to die”. I now proposed to take
worship and asked her what chapter she would like read. She
answered, read me the Chapter which Mr Stevenson read to me
at Dalrymple. This was 2nd Cor[inthians] 5th Chap. “Therefore
we know that though the earthly house of the tabernacle be dissolved
etc etc [we have a building of God, a house not made with hands,
eternal in the heavens. ]”
Thus terminated this happy period and then my dear wife sank
into her former state of weakness and spoke very little to us
afterwards but that scene which we witnessed cheered us and
made us more resigned and more willing than ever to let her
depart and be with Christ.
We felt that it was indeed a blessed thing to die the death
of a Christian and henceforth our petition to the throne of
Grace will ascend more sincerely when we pray “Let me die this
death of the Righteous and let my latter end be like his”.
During the two following days she could not speak much, but
she always seemed happy and a smile lighted up her face when
any of us spoke to her of Jesus and his love. She seemed to
suffer no pain and was conscious till within 3 minutes of her
death. On the night before her death I sat up with her till
about four o’clock next morning and then I retired to rest.
About 7 I was called into her room to assist in moving her a
little. Immediately afterwards she began to breath heavily then
turned her head round upon the pillow and instantly her spirit
passed away. On the morning of July 24th at half past 7 o’clock
1851.
Such was the closing scene of my beloved Jeanie. Often had
I looked forward to it with dread and wished that the day that
saw her eyes closed for ever on this world would also see my
eyes closed for ever on the things of time. We often wished
that we might die together and be buried in the same tomb. We
felt that each others’ company was necessary for each others’
happiness and that if one was taken and the other left we would
have no further wish to live longer in what then would be a
world of sorrow.
The time of separation has come and she who was so dear to
my heart has been taken from me and her body now lies mouldering
in the dust. But it is her body only that lies there. Her spirit
where is it? Oh this is my consecration and this is my joy that
her spirit is in heaven – safe in the bosom of Jesus.
Grace sufficient has been granted unto me to bear me up under
this dreadful trial. A God of Love has taken my beloved from
me and I know that he doeth all things for good to his people.
I now look forward with hope to the time when I shall again
meet with her never more again to part.
My Dear Wife’s remains were conveyed to Scotland and buried
in the Churchyard of Newton upon Ayr on the 31st of July 1851.
The following Sabbath was the communion in Ayr and at the close
of the address after the tables Mr Stevenson, her former Minister,
in referring to the uncertainty of life spoke of three who since
last communion were now gone to their rest, Miss Main, Mrs Hunter
and Jeanie. The two last Jeanie Hunter and my Dear Wife were
admitted to the communion for the first time in the first year
of his ministry. They were both SS teachers and all along they
continued very intimate friends.3
They died within 10 days of each other and though they died
at a great distance the one from the other yet now they were
lying nearly side by side in the same graveyard.
Chapter IV: 1851 to 1852 - Sarah
Adam’s diary
After my wife’s death felt her loss very much but was borne
up wonderfully. I sorrowed not as those who have no hope. During
the month of August spent a considerable time happily in the
company of Mrs Wodrow of Glasgow who had come to London along
with her two nephews for the purpose of seeing the Exhibition.
Was of a little service to them in directing their steps through
this immense city.
Mr and Mrs Allan visited London also during the month of Sept
and lived in the same house with me and was very happy and enjoyed
myself very much during their stay. One day we went to Windsor
together. Another day spent in the Exhibition and another night
went to hear an Oratorio in Exeter Hall accompanied by Miss
Maitland.
On New Years Eve first met with Sarah and an intimacy has grown
up between us. If an alliance with her is to be for our mutual
benefit and our souls’ welfare, may God prosper it. 4
27th April 1852 [John] Martin my brother-in-law came to London
for the purpose of making arrangements for bringing the family
up to reside here.
1st May Helen and the family came to London.
6th June Was attacked with small pox and confined to the house
till June 19th. Not a very bad attack but as I was beginning
to get better was seized with blood spitting which much alarmed
me. Being advised to the country I sailed for Granton on the
evening of June 19th and was much benefited by the sail. Indeed
felt almost as strong as ever before I landed.
I spent two very happy days in Edinburgh. Maggie Lawson being
there at the time, having arrived the same night with myself,
we had several long walks together and enjoyed ourselves exceedingly.
23rd June We (Jeanie Martin,5
my niece whom I brought from London) went through to Ayr, left
Edinburgh at 4 o’clock and got to Ayr at a quarter to 10 having
stopped an hour in Glasgow to see one or two friends.
25th June Mrs Ingram, William and myself got a jig and went
out to Barskimming, Catrine & Auchenweet to see friends.
Was delighted with Barskimming. The scenery on the banks of
the Ayr is very splendid. Rocks rise up rough and rugged for
a great height and from the water edge to the summit are clothed
with trees that seem to grow out of the solid rocks.
27th June My Father being desirous to see Edinburgh we set
sail early this morning for Glasgow. Got there at half past
2 and reached Edin’ by express at a quarter past 5. My father
was delighted with Edin. Since my visit a few days previously,
Janet Lawson had arrived from Newcastle and Janet and Maggie
accompanied us in our rambles. We walked around the Calton Hill,
attempted Arthur’s Seat but could not get farher more than half
way up. Went to the castle and enjoyed the fine views from the
battery and saw the regalia of Scotland. Visited the Grave of
Chalmers and again went to Granton and shewed my father, Maggie
and Janet Lawson through the London Steamer Clarence with which
father was much pleased and seemed as if he should like much
to sail with her to London.
We remained two days in Edinburgh then returned to Ayr again
on the afternoon of June 29th. I remained in Ayr till the 5th
of July when I left by rail at a quarter past 8 via Carlisle,
got to Birmingham at a quarter past 8 same day. Left Birmingham
for Bristol immediately. Got to Tiverton about 4 o’clock in
the morning and South Molton 23 miles farther by coach about
7. Sarah’s friends were delighted to see me. All seemed anxious
that I should enjoy myself and did all in their power to render
me happy. One thing however prevented our enjoying ourselves
to that extent we otherwise would. Poor Emma was dying of consumption.
Only two months before, had she been married and now she was
upon a bed of death.
9th July Having promised to be at business today I required
to leave South Molton this morning by coach at a half past 9
and arrived in London by rail at a half past 5 same day and
was at business by 6. I was much pleased with my short visit
to Devonshire and felt very sorry to leave it and Sarah and
such kind friends.
Adam’s letters to Sarah in South Molton
41 London Street, Fitzroy Sqr, 13th July 1852
My Dearest Sarah,
I got home safe on Friday and made a very rapid journey. The
latter part of the road from Didcot Junction to Paddington –
a distance of 53 miles – was gone over in 52 minutes, that is
rather more than 50 miles an hour. The train reached Paddington
at half past 5 and I was in the shop by 6. All of them seemed
glad to see me back and I was just as glad to get the ceremony
of introduction over that night, which enabled me to sleep soundly
and be at business as usual on the following morning.
I called on Mrs Chappell on Friday evening in order to tell
them how Emma was when I left. Mr Chappell informed me that
Mrs Galloway had sent to enquire for Emma, that she was at present
staying with Miss Bailey and would be glad to hear from you.
If you have not already written to her I think it would be advisable
for you so to do.
The greater part of yesterday I spent at Hornsey with Mr and
Mrs Craig, who are staying there for a few weeks.
I feel rather miserable since I came back but this was to be
expected, after being snatched away as it were from the numerous
friends whose company I have so much enjoyed during the last
fortnight. And now there is nothing here to make up for it,
with the exception of my mother and sister. Otherwise I am as
dull and lonely as when first I came to London. This however
I must put up with in the best way possible for a time and hope
for pleasanter days. Now I cannot bear the idea of your being
a twelvemonth at such a distance from me. If you were near so
that I could see you at times, it would tend greatly to cause
the time to pass more pleasantly by. Although it not be desirable
and I would not wish it for your own sake for you to come to
London immediately yet. I think in about two months if you can
hear of some nice, easy, light place where you think you could
be comfortable for a little. It would be advisable for the sake
of the happiness of both of us, that you should accept of it.
Emma I suppose continues as when I left her. Every day I expect
to hear from you that her spirit has taken its departure. Remember
me very kindly to her.
I trust you keep well yourself – and have got a good appetite,
as that is generally the index of ones well-being.
Keep yourself cheery, and ..
41 London Street, Fitzroy Sqr, London, 30th July 1852
My Dearest Sarah,
Although it is late yet I cannot go to rest without addressing
a few lines to you. In the state in which you are, an extra
letter in the week I doubt not will be welcome and perhaps in
return I may be gladdened by an extra one too. I am sorry you
grieve so much. I fear you grieve immoderately, and grief when
carried to an extreme, is not laudable, but injurious and wrong.
Do not think I am harsh now, Dearest. I sympathize with you
as much as any one can do. I know what it is to lose a beloved
friend. I have felt grief pangs in all their bitterness. And
I also know how hard a thing it is to bear up under such heavy
trials. Without the all supporting grace of God they are enough
almost to overwhelm us and to sink us into a state of deepest
melancholy. It would be impossible to get quit of our load of
grief ourselves. Someone stronger and more mighty must bear
it for us. And the aid of this “One” we can receive if we ask
it. Jesus is willing to bear all our cares for us if we only
ask him. Listen to his voice “Come unto me all ye that are weary
or heavy laden, and I will give you rest”. And again he says
“Casting all your care upon him who careth for you”. It is not
only our Sins that Jesus is able and willing to bear but it
is our Griefs and our Cares. It matters not how numerous nor
how great they be. He is willing to bear them all if we only
cast them upon him.
Knowing this then Beloved, will you not ask Jesus to bear your
grief? Will you not cast your care upon him. Go to him in Prayer,
and with a humble heart on your knees, tell him all your griefs
and sorrows. Ask him to bear your burden. And soon will you
feel your burdened lightened. Soon will the balm of consolation
be poured into your wounded spirit.
Oh how it would gladden me to know that your grief was lightened.
The lessening of your grief would be the lessening of mine for
how can I be happy when sorrow fills your heart.
But wherefore should you grieve so much, believing as we do
that dear Emma has gone to the land of bliss.6
Believing as we do that she is now happy in her Father’s house
above. Why not tho rather rejoice in her happiness, rejoice
that she is now beyond the reach of all the cares and sorrows
of this world and rejoice too in the prospect we have, if we
are the children of God, of again meeting with her very soon
in that fair land where all is peace and joy.
Know also that the Lord has taken her to himself, and wherefore
should we repine. The Lord gave her to us for a little and now
he has seen it better for her that she should be transplanted
as it were to another garden more genial, and on which the sun
of righteousness himself shines. Taken away altogether from
this bleak garden, where the winds blow so cold and piercing
or in other words where sin and sorrow so much abound.
I must have done now as it is getting very late and I have
a hard day’s work tomorrow, being Magazine day. The busy time
will be over when you receive this. The Sabbath will have dawned
and I will be luxuriating in my rest.
I will no doubt be thinking of you while you are reading this.
Remember me very kindly to Father & Anna and all the rest,
while I remain, Dearest, Every your own love,
Adam Reid
41 London Street, Fitzoy St, London, 10th September 1852
Dearest Sarah,
My uncle in law and aunt came yesterday at half past 6 and
last night and tonight my time has been entirely devoted to
them. They began by scolding me for not going to see them when
I was in Scotland.
I have faithfully promised to go next season and although I
have not said that someone would then accompany me, yet I am
sure when they know, your invitation would have not been less
hearty than my own.
Were I to tell them I had a sweetheart they would not leave
England without seeing her but of this I have not yet made mention.
They purpose leaving for France on Friday and staying there
for three weeks, and on their way back to Scotland probably
they will be a few days longer with me.
About your coming to London; now dearest I would be disposed
to leave it to yourself. I will only be too glad to see you.
After Thursday my time will be my own and I will welcome you
heartily whenever you come. Possibly I may not be able to meet
you at the train, as two of our partners are in the country,
and the charge of seeing the shop closed safely devolves upon
me.
If you think you could be happy and enjoy yourself in the country
for a few weeks longer it would be better for yourself to stay.
But if you fancy you would be happier here then the advantages
to be derived from the country would be in some measure done
away with, and you would be as well here.
I wish circumstances and my feelings in regard to the feelings
of others permitted my at once taking you to myself but however
desirable for the happiness and comfort of both of us, such
a step would be our union some months hence would tend to give
more general satisfaction amongst relatives.
It is getting late now dearest so you must excuse me for having
a shorter letter than usual. So Adieu for the present. You own
Love, Adam Reid
My kindest regards to all friends.
The next letter is three months later during which time Adam
must have proposed.
41 London Street, Fitzroy Sqr, London, 16th December 1852
Dearest Sarah,
I intended having written your letter last night, but was prevented.
Mr Hunter and Mr Allan having come along to get a glass out
of the bridegroom’s bottle and when they went away I felt more
disposed for bed, than for writing.
I now snatch a few minutes from my dinner hour, wishing to
post the letter tonight as I know you will be disappointed if
the postman does not, with the dawn of morning, bring you a
letter from your love.
I am not certain with what train I will leave London but of
this, and the probable time of my arrival, due notice will be
given.
I do not expect to have Martin’s company. I have asked him
to come but do not mean to insist any more on his coming. If
he does not like cheerfully to accept of my invitation and offer,
he can just bide.
Annie left London on Saturday night.
How are you getting on with your dress? I suppose it is made
now. Have you got a bonnet?
It does not seem a long time now til that long looked for ceremony
will take place. Do you think sometimes, it is too soon and
wish that it was further away? I cannot say that I have any
such wishes. I am the better pleased, the shorter the time gets.
Adieu then dearest for the present, while I remain,
Ever your own love, Adam
41 London Street, Fitzroy Sqr, London, 19th December 1852
Sabbath Evening
Dearest Sarah,
When I last wrote I had not intention of writing again so soon,
but now as I am able to make my arrangements more definitely
it is well you should be acquainted with them as soon as possible,
the more especially as I propose a change in the day on which
we shall be married.
When I first resolved to be married on Christmas day, it was
with the intention to leave that same afternoon so as to be
at business on Monday morning. But now as it is not necessary
for me to be at business on Monday, I think it would be a much
better arrangement and more agreeable for you as well as for
myself, that the ceremony should take place on Monday morning,
and we would leave South Molton almost immediately afterwards
and get to London the same night. I think this change will meet
with your approbation.
Martin has resolved on coming. Mr and Mrs Chapell and he, will
leave London on Friday morning and reach South Molton at night.
I will leave London on Friday evening and get to South Molton
with the morning mail, about half past 6 on Christmas morning
and thus we will spend two clear days together, before we are
linked together for life.
And if we cannot get married early enough on Monday morning
to catch the coach, we can easily get a conveyance by which
we would reach Tiverton by half past 2 and thus be in time for
the mail to London.
Of course I do not look upon the change of the day as a matter
of importance, so if you have made any arrangements by which
the day could not easily be altered from Saturday to Monday,
then our former intentions must be carried into effect. But
at the same time I would prefer the change if it could be done
without inconvenience.Let me hear from you by return of post
as to this matter.
Now Dearest, this is probably the last letter you will have
from me in our present relationship and at its close let me
just suggest that we enter not upon our new state of life without
seriously asking the God of Mercy to follow us with his blessing.
Let us begin it by acknowledging God, as our God, and resolving
that whatsoever others may do “as for us and our house we shall
serve the Lord”.
Adieu then Dearest, while I remain,
Every your own Love, Adam
Adam’s Diary
27th December Married to Sarah Thomas in South Molton Church
and return to London same evening and business next day. 7
So Adam got his way!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 5
1 The Great Exhibition of the
Works and Industries of All Nations at Crystal Palace in 1851.
2 Adam had crossed this paragraph
out.
3 SS: I think this means ‘Sunday
School’ teacher.
4 Sarah Thomas was a seamstress
from South Molton in North Devon. She was about four years older
than Adam. Her father, John Thomas, was a sexton living at Church
Yard which was the old town centre. I do not know why Sarah was
in London at the time. Adam mentions in his letters to her sent
from London people that knew her, Mr and Mrs Chappel, Mrs Galloway,
Miss Bailey, Mr and Mrs Craig and her friend Emma who also came
from Devon.
5 Born 5.6.1836 and therefore
aged 13.
6 Emma died on 25 July 1852.
7 They were married by the
Rev. Theophilis Clarke.
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